Chujing

Wash strike, ready to go out at night for a walk, get some fresh air and by taking A career (sister’s children) to play, to buy something, after all stuffy in the room too long.TV is broken, the cable is not installed, no more books, removal of food and drink to sleep, had to listen to (men pestering mother) A mother and shipped endless bickering chatter.I was afraid of this life, doing nothing decadent lonely, I dislike this kind of “family” atmosphere, depression embarrassing contradiction.Moreover A career is alive and kicking child, sister to take him out in order to share the burden of her in-laws home, no time to care for work-ridden, can only stay here.We stay at home all day, and often quarrel, it will naturally affect the child.    In the evening, wanted to organize diaries, is into the computer, and then destroy the handwritten document, so all day in fear lest someone will see the demolition.Mother suddenly said to go home, luggage all packed.These days she told A transport trouble, I would perhaps take her.I asked her to go back to do what she did not say, but go back and look mostly unoccupied house, or arrange some formalities.I also just ready, and she will be back home.Drive a used car, new car A transport opened, since bought, I have not opened a few times, he tyrants are always open to play mahjong, do not do work, do not take off.Marry a rich husband near, he came back to find the mother did?Did not give money, food not bought, even lazy to cook, but also to gamble all day long, no wonder Mom always scolded him.In this regard, I want the same for my mom and abundance of more or less hate, but absolutely hated shipped to Afghanistan, he destroyed our home.    Home, the day is not all black.The first time to see if the door is destroyed, there is no place to give people moved, after all, in the last month, the family has been stolen twice.Ugh!Really, there is a home for the elderly is a good thing, parents are still alive is a blessing.At least guarding the house, do not let people have unnatural, perhaps later can give you hug a child.But now people have to go, as the lamp, nothing, leaving his hard life of the home, leaving the children did not understand the things of.Now the land away farming, timber cutting people steal, the family has also been forced open, not the father, but also really cheap than the mud.Think of Dad is really not easy, parents died, relatives and friends do not recognize, the neighborhood bully, young children, old and sick ridden another.I really wronged him, was wrong two decades.I said he was selfish, beat, shabby, negative, long-winded.A few months ago, when I hurried home, only to see a dead body, cold body, he could not hear me, even if I shouted broken throat, he can no longer call me, even if I said that did not want to reading.He did not leave a word, his death had not been able to see him this unfilial.I can not apologize with dad, also failed to return him shred.    In the evening, we put doors and windows are open breathable, and then somehow beds are Zhen, burned the water, watch TV in the hall.We put the TV up too loud, but also all the room lights are turned on, to let the neighborhood know that people lived here, also, there are angry.On the balcony full stocked with six porcelain pots, planted with spineless cactus, narcissus, chrysanthemum, green onions as well as night-blooming cereus.Because each home did not forget to irrigate and fertilize, do not dry listless now, but look lush, but never did the enemy had their houses of lush grassland that.At this time, the east mountain moon has surfaced half of the face, such as deep ink further removed mountains, river gravel roads and has a silver white jade, clouds white haze was also dyed pale yellow and sandwiching the point.Village becomes hazy looming, sporadic dim lights scattered studded.The wind was whispering, water trickling three barking twice its desolate, frogs insects come and go.Without the hustle and bustle during the day, nor in the noisy downtown, cool and quiet mood at the moment.The moon slowly into the sky, actually so bright and successful, it probably fifteen.Time flies, people have changed, according to Gu Yue people today remain empty.Looking up at the moon, past flood pat thoughts, all thoughts, remorse and regret can not help but to.    .May have been hollow, scattered clouds sank, the whole world in the final of silence.People sleep, lights out, and the dog had silenced.We are also tired, Mom bubble two bags of cereal for supper to me and told me to drink go to bed early, tomorrow, had to gather wood.We’ll turn off the TV, keep the lamp hall lights night eviction fears.Even so, I still could not sleep for a long time, eyes closed, think of a dad, I think of the pain of this life by the father, but I think what to do, what to do in this house to Japan.    For decades, ah, he married his wife from the chaos now, how much to pay, how much of our thought for the family.He has said that his greatest skill in this life is to marry a homely wife and gave birth to two cubs good.He has said he does not worry most is the mother, so do not cry if he does not call, who will take care of hypertension mom.He is more hope is that I can read university, which is the desire of his life, but also to others who ridicule commitment.But these God did not give him cash, dad is swallowed their anger away, and we all have sinned.Dad told me that he had not had the experience, I have not told our ridge where places are, I have not told him I was a year and who worship graves in what is.Too sudden, we did not take good care of Dad, God is deprived of his wish unfulfilled.- how to do, how to do this at home.I was wrong, the book would have been a good read, because of the delay lazy avoid delays in learning, still under the impact of the last business idea a little bit of science to escape twice, the last time also directly with the teacher said to drop out of school.Only in the mother and the school block, temporary leave of absence to do procedures.No refund is always to learn, do the authors really should be a fortune-teller she said, “Your fixed the students, if not out, telling me all torn paper quit!”.But I am clearly very tangled, think about it, I was saying how tough attitude to drop out, he said his situation enough expelled from school, so I want to escape from school.Then I walked out, the teacher said I missing mass of information, uproar in town, my face also how to put ah.Put aside these, my education has fallen so much that he put his mind these days too blunt a blank, but also how to catch up.In addition, it is unlikely to have been a gregarious, withdrawal and low self-esteem.That is to say bite the bullet and go, lose some face will not die, or what really gone.But I really caught variable, vowed once, but now want to change their mind, why I am so immature, why God let me insane repeated several times.I do not want someone with a strange attitude and look for me, I do not want others to think I was heterogeneous, they do not know me.But if I do not go back to school, but also what to do, once he said that the entrepreneurial flame had gone out, once said of life willing to work through the normal day thoughts will disillusion.I was too naive, even if there is capital not dare to do, I was too naive, said normal days, say away from wealth and status, you do for yourself!This home will decline dilapidated, unoccupied home after all gone, others up to bully coming to an end.Less than you think, you have to rise up and desperate, their dignity, energetic, hard work.You have to fight in one breath home!Dad’s wishes was, the front door sedan, for those who look down upon us all look.But all of this, all of this!Dad you can not see.